Barnyard Comedy Gifts

"Stick with me baby, and you'll eat slop every day."

"Next time you score show a little respect and don't spike uncle Frank so hard."

Moo! OOM!

Police Cow!

'This is what Jack and me have managed to create so far...all you have to do is add your poop to the top and we have a field record!'

'Remember, chew every bite 32 times.'

You can always tell animals trained by 4H kids.

Wife to husband dressed as pantomime cow: 'I know you're exhausted, love, but at least the panto season is now ... BEHIND YOU!!'

"Come off it, you're not working from dawn till dusk: You're working at dawn and at dusk..."

'Your barn door's open.'

'Oi! We're your nipples you idiot!'

'With a herd of three cows it doesn't take long for inventory, does it, Dad?'

"I not only have to wake up the cows, I have to wake up the rooster."

"I didn't mean to trample him. How do you say 'my bad' in human?"

"I'm tired of having to apologize for the condition of the house."

"Dad...how do you know when to stop?"

'Is it slop yet?'

'Orchestra Pit Bull.'

'First of all, I want you to know that my door is always open...'

'I forgot to tell you Neddy's not 'broken-in' yet...!'

"We need less cowbell!"

'No. I insist. You first.'

'I have to face it Irma, I haven't laid an egg in a week now: I'm menopausal...'

'Abandon Sheep.'

Sheep Ballast

Farm Humor.

Throw another hedgehog on the fire, would you pet?

"Just our luck...everything but us tastes just like chicken."

"You're free to range. Just stay away from that Tiffany—she's trouble."

'Come on girls, can you at least pretend I rule the roost when the farmer is around...'

"So how do we know if they've got this helium virus?"

"I don't want to worry you, but this years prize winning pig, usually ends up as next years prize winning sausages."

'The kids in the barnyard called me a 'turkey'!'