Barnyard Comedy Lover Gifts

'I have to face it Irma, I haven't laid an egg in a week now: I'm menopausal...'

"I not only have to wake up the cows, I have to wake up the rooster."

Cow Show Tunes

"Next time you score show a little respect and don't spike uncle Frank so hard."

Moo! OOM!

'Remember, chew every bite 32 times.'

Pig tails connected. Title: 'Where Sausage Links Begin'

Wife to husband dressed as pantomime cow: 'I know you're exhausted, love, but at least the panto season is now ... BEHIND YOU!!'

You can always tell animals trained by 4H kids.

Ham-Dram

"Come off it, you're not working from dawn till dusk: You're working at dawn and at dusk..."

'Your barn door's open.'

Christmas Cow.

'With a herd of three cows it doesn't take long for inventory, does it, Dad?'

'Oi! We're your nipples you idiot!'

"I didn't mean to trample him. How do you say 'my bad' in human?"

"I'm tired of having to apologize for the condition of the house."

'I forgot to tell you Neddy's not 'broken-in' yet...!'

"Dad...how do you know when to stop?"

'Is it slop yet?'

"I stink... therefore, I am."

'First of all, I want you to know that my door is always open...'

"We need less cowbell!"

'No. I insist. You first.'

'Orchestra Pit Bull.'

'Abandon Sheep.'

Sheep Ballast

Cow being clamped for milk.

'Come on girls, can you at least pretend I rule the roost when the farmer is around...'

"I just try to do my part- camembert, brie, Velveeta - Those are marketing decisions.''

Throw another hedgehog on the fire, would you pet?

"You're free to range. Just stay away from that Tiffany—she's trouble."

"I don't want to worry you, but this years prize winning pig, usually ends up as next years prize winning sausages."

"So how do we know if they've got this helium virus?"

'A Cow with REALLY bad breath'.