Barnyard Humor Lover Gifts

'Of course we can talk about your milking me...as soon as we've been properly introduced.'

Where milkshakes come from.

"I nap so much during the day that I'm awake very early every morning: it's so boring to then wait for sunrise to cock-a-doodle-doo..."

Bubble Gum Farms.

Cow Show Tunes

"Stick with me baby, and you'll eat slop every day."

"Next time you score show a little respect and don't spike uncle Frank so hard."

Moo! OOM!

"You're living in a fantasy world, Nelly. Farmer Dave doesn't know you're alive. Plus, he's a human being, he's married, he's the church pastor and he's secretly gay."

'Remember, chew every bite 32 times.'

'That hussy. She's always first in line for insemination.'

"Come off it, you're not working from dawn till dusk: You're working at dawn and at dusk..."

Pig tails connected. Title: 'Where Sausage Links Begin'

Wife to husband dressed as pantomime cow: 'I know you're exhausted, love, but at least the panto season is now ... BEHIND YOU!!'

'Your barn door's open.'

'With a herd of three cows it doesn't take long for inventory, does it, Dad?'

'Oi! We're your nipples you idiot!'

"I not only have to wake up the cows, I have to wake up the rooster."

"I didn't mean to trample him. How do you say 'my bad' in human?"

'What's that smell?'

"I'm tired of having to apologize for the condition of the house."

'I've been experiencing a lot of deja moo.'

"We need less cowbell!"

'No. I insist. You first.'

"Dad...how do you know when to stop?"

'I forgot to tell you Neddy's not 'broken-in' yet...!'

"I stink... therefore, I am."

'Is it slop yet?'

'First of all, I want you to know that my door is always open...'

'I have to face it Irma, I haven't laid an egg in a week now: I'm menopausal...'

'Abandon Sheep.'

Sheep Ballast

"I just try to do my part- camembert, brie, Velveeta - Those are marketing decisions.''

Throw another hedgehog on the fire, would you pet?

'Come on girls, can you at least pretend I rule the roost when the farmer is around...'