Barnyard Humor Lover Gifts

'Of course we can talk about your milking me...as soon as we've been properly introduced.'

"I nap so much during the day that I'm awake very early every morning: it's so boring to then wait for sunrise to cock-a-doodle-doo..."

Cow Show Tunes

"Stick with me baby, and you'll eat slop every day."

"Next time you score show a little respect and don't spike uncle Frank so hard."

Moo! OOM!

"You're living in a fantasy world, Nelly. Farmer Dave doesn't know you're alive. Plus, he's a human being, he's married, he's the church pastor and he's secretly gay."

'Remember, chew every bite 32 times.'

'That hussy. She's always first in line for insemination.'

"Come off it, you're not working from dawn till dusk: You're working at dawn and at dusk..."

Pig tails connected. Title: 'Where Sausage Links Begin'

Wife to husband dressed as pantomime cow: 'I know you're exhausted, love, but at least the panto season is now ... BEHIND YOU!!'

'Your barn door's open.'

'With a herd of three cows it doesn't take long for inventory, does it, Dad?'

"I not only have to wake up the cows, I have to wake up the rooster."

'Oi! We're your nipples you idiot!'

"I didn't mean to trample him. How do you say 'my bad' in human?"

"I'm tired of having to apologize for the condition of the house."

'First of all, I want you to know that my door is always open...'

"I stink... therefore, I am."

'No. I insist. You first.'

"Dad...how do you know when to stop?"

'Is it slop yet?'

'I forgot to tell you Neddy's not 'broken-in' yet...!'

"We need less cowbell!"

'I have to face it Irma, I haven't laid an egg in a week now: I'm menopausal...'

'Abandon Sheep.'

Sheep Ballast

"You're free to range. Just stay away from that Tiffany—she's trouble."

'Come on girls, can you at least pretend I rule the roost when the farmer is around...'

"I just try to do my part- camembert, brie, Velveeta - Those are marketing decisions.''

Cow being clamped for milk.

Throw another hedgehog on the fire, would you pet?

"I don't want to worry you, but this years prize winning pig, usually ends up as next years prize winning sausages."