Barnyard Banter Gifts

Isn't it great you can have a job you can do pi**ed?!

'First give me the food - then you get the egg.'

'Water, there's a fly in my slop.'

'Tastes like tuna.'

'. . . Bessie, you will have to sit this one out, because, well you're a cow.'

'Jenkins, when was the last time you cleaned out the barn?'

"Now, that's really weird: The farmer's kids have a rubber duck in their bath!"

Bubble Gum Farms.

'Ok, here comes farmer Brown, put these on and remember.......act natural!'

'Boy, watch out for that pursestring suture!'

Cow talking to dog: 'What...You eat your own...?!'

"Stick with me baby, and you'll eat slop every day."

Miniature Cattle Fanciers

"Next time you score show a little respect and don't spike uncle Frank so hard."

"You're living in a fantasy world, Nelly. Farmer Dave doesn't know you're alive. Plus, he's a human being, he's married, he's the church pastor and he's secretly gay."

Moo! OOM!

Despite Having Given Up His Veterinary Practice George liked To Keep His Hand In...

'This is what Jack and me have managed to create so far...all you have to do is add your poop to the top and we have a field record!'

'That hussy. She's always first in line for insemination.'

Timmy Works with His Pet Cow

"Haay, Tia Carmen, these eggs sure are fresh! What's your secret?"

'This is my mom and dad.'

'With a herd of three cows it doesn't take long for inventory, does it, Dad?'

'What's that smell?'

"I'm tired of having to apologize for the condition of the house."

'No. I insist. You first.'

Sheep

'Tender and Juicy.'

"Don't leave me dangling!"

Sheep Ballast

"I bet you couldn't eat three."

"You're free to range. Just stay away from that Tiffany—she's trouble."

"I just try to do my part- camembert, brie, Velveeta - Those are marketing decisions.''

Cow being clamped for milk.

"So how do we know if they've got this helium virus?"