Barnyard Banter Pillows

Isn't it great you can have a job you can do pi**ed?!

'First give me the food - then you get the egg.'

'Water, there's a fly in my slop.'

'Tastes like tuna.'

'. . . Bessie, you will have to sit this one out, because, well you're a cow.'

'Jenkins, when was the last time you cleaned out the barn?'

"Now, that's really weird: The farmer's kids have a rubber duck in their bath!"

'Ok, here comes farmer Brown, put these on and remember.......act natural!'

'Boy, watch out for that pursestring suture!'

Cow talking to dog: 'What...You eat your own...?!'

Miniature Cattle Fanciers

"Stick with me baby, and you'll eat slop every day."

"Next time you score show a little respect and don't spike uncle Frank so hard."

Moo! OOM!

"You're living in a fantasy world, Nelly. Farmer Dave doesn't know you're alive. Plus, he's a human being, he's married, he's the church pastor and he's secretly gay."

Despite Having Given Up His Veterinary Practice George liked To Keep His Hand In...

'This is what Jack and me have managed to create so far...all you have to do is add your poop to the top and we have a field record!'

'That hussy. She's always first in line for insemination.'

Timmy Works with His Pet Cow

"Haay, Tia Carmen, these eggs sure are fresh! What's your secret?"

'With a herd of three cows it doesn't take long for inventory, does it, Dad?'

"I'm tired of having to apologize for the condition of the house."

'Tender and Juicy.'

"Don't leave me dangling!"

Sheep

'No. I insist. You first.'

Sheep Ballast

Cow being clamped for milk.

"I just try to do my part- camembert, brie, Velveeta - Those are marketing decisions.''

"You're free to range. Just stay away from that Tiffany—she's trouble."

"I bet you couldn't eat three."

"I don't want to worry you, but this years prize winning pig, usually ends up as next years prize winning sausages."

"So how do we know if they've got this helium virus?"

'The kids in the barnyard called me a 'turkey'!'

"Honest dear, those other 39 hens don't mean a thing to me!"