Barnyard Banterer Pillows

'The kids in the barnyard called me a 'turkey'!'

"Stick with me baby, and you'll eat slop every day."

'Wow, not bad! The only thing I'm likely to inherit is a pigsty...'

Bubble Gum Farms.

"Next time you score show a little respect and don't spike uncle Frank so hard."

Police Cow!

Moo! OOM!

'First give me the food - then you get the egg.'

"You're living in a fantasy world, Nelly. Farmer Dave doesn't know you're alive. Plus, he's a human being, he's married, he's the church pastor and he's secretly gay."

'This is what Jack and me have managed to create so far...all you have to do is add your poop to the top and we have a field record!'

'Remember, chew every bite 32 times.'

'That hussy. She's always first in line for insemination.'

"Come off it, you're not working from dawn till dusk: You're working at dawn and at dusk..."

You can always tell animals trained by 4H kids.

Wife to husband dressed as pantomime cow: 'I know you're exhausted, love, but at least the panto season is now ... BEHIND YOU!!'

'Your barn door's open.'

'With a herd of three cows it doesn't take long for inventory, does it, Dad?'

'Oi! We're your nipples you idiot!'

'Last night, I snuck into the barn with a latex medical glove tied to the end of a hose...haha!'

"I not only have to wake up the cows, I have to wake up the rooster."

"I didn't mean to trample him. How do you say 'my bad' in human?"

'What's that smell?'

"I'm tired of having to apologize for the condition of the house."

'I've been experiencing a lot of deja moo.'

'Jenkins, when was the last time you cleaned out the barn?'

'I forgot to tell you Neddy's not 'broken-in' yet...!'

"We need less cowbell!"

'Orchestra Pit Bull.'

"Dad...how do you know when to stop?"

'First of all, I want you to know that my door is always open...'

'No. I insist. You first.'

'Is it slop yet?'

'I have to face it Irma, I haven't laid an egg in a week now: I'm menopausal...'

'Abandon Sheep.'

Sheep Ballast