Barnyard Chuckles Gifts

'MILK ME!'

"Stick with me baby, and you'll eat slop every day."

"Next time you score show a little respect and don't spike uncle Frank so hard."

'First give me the food - then you get the egg.'

Moo! OOM!

Police Cow!

'This is what Jack and me have managed to create so far...all you have to do is add your poop to the top and we have a field record!'

'Remember, chew every bite 32 times.'

"Come off it, you're not working from dawn till dusk: You're working at dawn and at dusk..."

Wife to husband dressed as pantomime cow: 'I know you're exhausted, love, but at least the panto season is now ... BEHIND YOU!!'

'Your barn door's open.'

"I not only have to wake up the cows, I have to wake up the rooster."

'Oi! We're your nipples you idiot!'

'With a herd of three cows it doesn't take long for inventory, does it, Dad?'

"I didn't mean to trample him. How do you say 'my bad' in human?"

'What's that smell?'

"I'm tired of having to apologize for the condition of the house."

'I've been experiencing a lot of deja moo.'

'He's been like this ever since he found out that he's a Rare Breed ...'

'First of all, I want you to know that my door is always open...'

'Is it slop yet?'

'Jenkins, when was the last time you cleaned out the barn?'

'I forgot to tell you Neddy's not 'broken-in' yet...!'

"We need less cowbell!"

'No. I insist. You first.'

"Dad...how do you know when to stop?"

'I have to face it Irma, I haven't laid an egg in a week now: I'm menopausal...'

'Abandon Sheep.'

Sheep Ballast

"You're free to range. Just stay away from that Tiffany—she's trouble."

"Just our luck...everything but us tastes just like chicken."

We only follow one star round here, buddy!

Throw another hedgehog on the fire, would you pet?

'Come on girls, can you at least pretend I rule the roost when the farmer is around...'

"I don't want to worry you, but this years prize winning pig, usually ends up as next years prize winning sausages."