Barnyard Play Enthusiast Gifts

Psst! Stay in character!

"The good old days of eating the washing off the line are all gone methinks: The farmer has bought an electric dryer..."

'Ok, here comes farmer Brown, put these on and remember.......act natural!'

Cow Show Tunes

Dedication to excellence....

A Cow Striptease

"Next time, dear, ask me first before you invite a friend over for dinner."

"You're living in a fantasy world, Nelly. Farmer Dave doesn't know you're alive. Plus, he's a human being, he's married, he's the church pastor and he's secretly gay."

Drawing on the left side of the barn.

'That hussy. She's always first in line for insemination.'

Cow Christmas anxiety dreams!

Pig tails connected. Title: 'Where Sausage Links Begin'

'Oh quit griping and be thankful we even got a bonus this year!'

"Wait … where’s Chicken Little? And who is ‘Kim Jong Un’?"

'Well, Dad, it's 2:00 AM and we've been messing with her all night...'

"The summer people are coming! The summer people are coming!"

"I'm tired of having to apologize for the condition of the house."

'How the heck is anyone supposed to lay with all this chitchat going on?'

"I stink... therefore, I am."

'No. I insist. You first.'

Rooster writes out 'Things to cock-a-doodle-do.'

Cow being clamped for milk.

'I'd like to speak to the slop steward.'

...and this is you bedroom come dining room come kitchen come toilet!

'Mirror, mirror, on the silo, who's the studliest bull in Shiloh?'

Oh you baad bad girl!

A frightened woman running from a cow.

"I just try to do my part- camembert, brie, Velveeta - Those are marketing decisions.''

'The main difference between small animal surgery and large animal surgery...'

'To be perfectly honest, I hate my job: I'm not really a morning person...'

Farmer tries to plug his lawn mower into a pig.

Ewe are here.