Barnyard Antics Aficionado T-Shirts

Cow being clamped for milk.

Bubble Gum Farms.

'Ok, here comes farmer Brown, put these on and remember.......act natural!'

Dedication to excellence....

A Cow Striptease

"Next time, dear, ask me first before you invite a friend over for dinner."

"You're living in a fantasy world, Nelly. Farmer Dave doesn't know you're alive. Plus, he's a human being, he's married, he's the church pastor and he's secretly gay."

'That hussy. She's always first in line for insemination.'

Pig tails connected. Title: 'Where Sausage Links Begin'

Cow Christmas anxiety dreams!

You can always tell animals trained by 4H kids.

'Oh quit griping and be thankful we even got a bonus this year!'

When Cows Discovered Mowers

"Wait … where’s Chicken Little? And who is ‘Kim Jong Un’?"

"I not only have to wake up the cows, I have to wake up the rooster."

'Well, Dad, it's 2:00 AM and we've been messing with her all night...'

'What's that smell?'

"The summer people are coming! The summer people are coming!"

"I'm tired of having to apologize for the condition of the house."

'No. I insist. You first.'

'How the heck is anyone supposed to lay with all this chitchat going on?'

"I stink... therefore, I am."

'Orchestra Pit Bull.'

'I have to face it Irma, I haven't laid an egg in a week now: I'm menopausal...'

Rooster writes out 'Things to cock-a-doodle-do.'

Psst! Stay in character!

'Mirror, mirror, on the silo, who's the studliest bull in Shiloh?'

A frightened woman running from a cow.

"I just try to do my part- camembert, brie, Velveeta - Those are marketing decisions.''

...and this is you bedroom come dining room come kitchen come toilet!

Oh you baad bad girl!

'I'd like to speak to the slop steward.'

Chicken eating jelly beans and laying multi-coloured eggs.

'The main difference between small animal surgery and large animal surgery...'

'To be perfectly honest, I hate my job: I'm not really a morning person...'