Barnyard Philosopher Gifts

'Take my advice kid. Enjoy yourself now, because once you get married, your free ranging days are over.'

'Let's see... two clucks, three baas, one quack, two oinks, and eight neighs- once again, the neighs have it.'

"....one minute I'm there - chewing the cud - the next, I get this urge to lead!"

'To be honest I'm sick of truffles.'

'You need an education or you will wind up in some fast food place.'

'These lousy free-range chickens think that they just own the whole world!'

"Same old thing; milking and grazing. How was your day, dear?"

"Can you milk a cow?"

"She thinks she's smarter than we are because she has a sheep skin."

Alas poor Daisy, I knew her well!

'Don't worry, the first 30 years of working with goats are the hardest.'

'I'm not sure how we'll get down. I guess when pigs fly again.'

'You, me, them...these days we're all someone's intellectual property.'

'I'm sorry young lady, but you're not old enough to be free range!'

Bad news I'm afraid. Our universe is shrinking!

'Why don't you try to think outside of the trough once in a while?'

"They’re real."

"I have a real dislike for polevaulters!"

The Weekly Poultry Reading was Short-Lived.

'If I've learned one thing after all these years, it's that 'moo' doesn't always mean 'moo'.'

'I don't know what's going on in there, but I'm busting out of here tonight. You with me?'

Vote. Don't listen to him --- They all promise greener pastures.

"And that, son, is where chickens come from."

"I was going to go to the other slop trough, but the music's always too loud."

"Turns out the sky isn’t falling … it's just the global markets crumbling."

Cock A Doodle

"Next time you score show a little respect and don't spike uncle Frank so hard."

"Stick with me baby, and you'll eat slop every day."

"I always knew you'd come back."

Moo! OOM!

Drawing on the left side of the barn.

'Remember, chew every bite 32 times.'

Ham-Dram

Wife to husband dressed as pantomime cow: 'I know you're exhausted, love, but at least the panto season is now ... BEHIND YOU!!'

"Come off it, you're not working from dawn till dusk: You're working at dawn and at dusk..."