Barnyard Thespian Gifts

Ham-Dram

'You need an education or you will wind up in some fast food place.'

Cow Show Tunes

"It turns out crows find a bunch of dead crows more frightening than a man made out of hay."

'Oh, it's a long, long time...From here to November...'

"They’re real."

"Next time you score show a little respect and don't spike uncle Frank so hard."

"Stick with me baby, and you'll eat slop every day."

Cock A Doodle

Alas poor Daisy, I knew her well!

'Take my advice kid. Enjoy yourself now, because once you get married, your free ranging days are over.'

'To be honest I'm sick of truffles.'

Moo! OOM!

'I'm sorry young lady, but you're not old enough to be free range!'

'Remember, chew every bite 32 times.'

Bad news I'm afraid. Our universe is shrinking!

"Come off it, you're not working from dawn till dusk: You're working at dawn and at dusk..."

You can always tell animals trained by 4H kids.

Wife to husband dressed as pantomime cow: 'I know you're exhausted, love, but at least the panto season is now ... BEHIND YOU!!'

"....one minute I'm there - chewing the cud - the next, I get this urge to lead!"

'Your barn door's open.'

Christmas Cow.

'With a herd of three cows it doesn't take long for inventory, does it, Dad?'

'Oi! We're your nipples you idiot!'

"I not only have to wake up the cows, I have to wake up the rooster."

"I didn't mean to trample him. How do you say 'my bad' in human?"

'What's that smell?'

"I'm tired of having to apologize for the condition of the house."

'I've been experiencing a lot of deja moo.'

'You don't want to show favouritism Bruce-it upsets the others.'

'Don't worry, the first 30 years of working with goats are the hardest.'

'Is it slop yet?'

"We need less cowbell!"

"And that, son, is where chickens come from."

'No. I insist. You first.'