Barnyard Bard Gifts

Businessman As A Weather Vane

'You don't want to show favouritism Bruce-it upsets the others.'

"It turns out crows find a bunch of dead crows more frightening than a man made out of hay."

Irish chickens!

'Oh, it's a long, long time...From here to November...'

'Boy, watch out for that pursestring suture!'

Cow Show Tunes

Goat about goat: 'He's no longer gruff since he's been on Prozac.'

"Next time you score show a little respect and don't spike uncle Frank so hard."

Miniature Cattle Fanciers

"Stick with me baby, and you'll eat slop every day."

'This model is hard to get parts for.'

Moo! OOM!

Despite Having Given Up His Veterinary Practice George liked To Keep His Hand In...

'Remember, chew every bite 32 times.'

Ham-Dram

"Come off it, you're not working from dawn till dusk: You're working at dawn and at dusk..."

'Take a picture...it'll last longer.'

Timmy Works with His Pet Cow

"Okay, now we're too domesticated."

"Gesundtheit, Dear."

"Haay, Tia Carmen, these eggs sure are fresh! What's your secret?"

You can always tell animals trained by 4H kids.

Wife to husband dressed as pantomime cow: 'I know you're exhausted, love, but at least the panto season is now ... BEHIND YOU!!'

'Your barn door's open.'

'I've got to wake up extra early tomorrow morning. Any clue how to set this thing?'

'This is my mom and dad.'

'With a herd of three cows it doesn't take long for inventory, does it, Dad?'

'Oi! We're your nipples you idiot!'

"Dayum. She bootylicious."

Doctor to pig: 'You've been pigging out on pan pizzas, eh? I'm taking you off square meals.'

"I not only have to wake up the cows, I have to wake up the rooster."

Scrooge McCow

"I didn't mean to trample him. How do you say 'my bad' in human?"

'What's that smell?'