Barnyard Buff Gifts

"Our bad. We thought it said 'Barn crawl'."

'Look, just do the best you can.'

'I've got to wake up extra early tomorrow morning. Any clue how to set this thing?'

'This model is hard to get parts for.'

'Take it easy, you're a cow. They love cow humor.'

"It's for you."

Scrooge McCow

"All your wife gave me was a little peck on the cheek!"

"The farmer has increased my duties: I now need to cock-a-doodle-doo at sunrise, morning tea, lunchtime, afternoon tea, dinner and sunset..."

I thought you said there was a big mouse in the barn.

Doctor to pig: 'You've been pigging out on pan pizzas, eh? I'm taking you off square meals.'

"Okay, now we're too domesticated."

'Take a picture...it'll last longer.'

'Geesh, Betty, your grazing is really off today!'

'This is definitely one of eight conditions.'

A scene from Oooh-arrr Dude, Where's My Cow?

"Gesundtheit, Dear."

"Dayum. She bootylicious."

'Ok, here comes farmer Brown, put these on and remember.......act natural!'

"It turns out crows find a bunch of dead crows more frightening than a man made out of hay."

'Boy, watch out for that pursestring suture!'

'Oh, it's a long, long time...From here to November...'

"You've just got to have the biggest and the best, have'nt you?!"

"Stick with me baby, and you'll eat slop every day."

Miniature Cattle Fanciers

Cock A Doodle

"You're living in a fantasy world, Nelly. Farmer Dave doesn't know you're alive. Plus, he's a human being, he's married, he's the church pastor and he's secretly gay."

'First give me the food - then you get the egg.'

"Next time, dear, ask me first before you invite a friend over for dinner."

A Cow Striptease

Despite Having Given Up His Veterinary Practice George liked To Keep His Hand In...

'This is what Jack and me have managed to create so far...all you have to do is add your poop to the top and we have a field record!'

'That hussy. She's always first in line for insemination.'

Cow Christmas anxiety dreams!

You can always tell animals trained by 4H kids.