Barnyard Buffoonery Gifts

'Yes, Hawkins, I did tell you to never show your face around this farm again.'

'Farm Fool'

'Ok, here comes farmer Brown, put these on and remember.......act natural!'

"Stick with me baby, and you'll eat slop every day."

"Next time you score show a little respect and don't spike uncle Frank so hard."

Dedication to excellence....

'First give me the food - then you get the egg.'

Police Cow!

Moo! OOM!

'This is what Jack and me have managed to create so far...all you have to do is add your poop to the top and we have a field record!'

'Remember, chew every bite 32 times.'

You can always tell animals trained by 4H kids.

"Come off it, you're not working from dawn till dusk: You're working at dawn and at dusk..."

Wife to husband dressed as pantomime cow: 'I know you're exhausted, love, but at least the panto season is now ... BEHIND YOU!!'

'Your barn door's open.'

'With a herd of three cows it doesn't take long for inventory, does it, Dad?'

'Oi! We're your nipples you idiot!'

"I didn't mean to trample him. How do you say 'my bad' in human?"

"I'm tired of having to apologize for the condition of the house."

'Orchestra Pit Bull.'

"Dad...how do you know when to stop?"

'No. I insist. You first.'

'Is it slop yet?'

'First of all, I want you to know that my door is always open...'

'Jenkins, when was the last time you cleaned out the barn?'

"We need less cowbell!"

'Abandon Sheep.'

Sheep Ballast

Throw another hedgehog on the fire, would you pet?

"Just our luck...everything but us tastes just like chicken."

"You're free to range. Just stay away from that Tiffany—she's trouble."

'Come on girls, can you at least pretend I rule the roost when the farmer is around...'

Cow being clamped for milk.

"I don't want to worry you, but this years prize winning pig, usually ends up as next years prize winning sausages."