Barnyard Buffoon Gifts

"Now that part of them is known as the gluteus maximus, or as we call it, the 'sweet spot'."

'Ok, here comes farmer Brown, put these on and remember.......act natural!'

"It turns out crows find a bunch of dead crows more frightening than a man made out of hay."

'Oh, it's a long, long time...From here to November...'

Goat about goat: 'He's no longer gruff since he's been on Prozac.'

"Next time you score show a little respect and don't spike uncle Frank so hard."

Cock A Doodle

"Stick with me baby, and you'll eat slop every day."

'This model is hard to get parts for.'

"I always knew you'd come back."

Police Cow!

Moo! OOM!

Sick Rancher Humor

'This is what Jack and me have managed to create so far...all you have to do is add your poop to the top and we have a field record!'

'Remember, chew every bite 32 times.'

You can always tell animals trained by 4H kids.

"Gesundtheit, Dear."

"Okay, now we're too domesticated."

Wife to husband dressed as pantomime cow: 'I know you're exhausted, love, but at least the panto season is now ... BEHIND YOU!!'

'Take a picture...it'll last longer.'

"Come off it, you're not working from dawn till dusk: You're working at dawn and at dusk..."

'Your barn door's open.'

'I've got to wake up extra early tomorrow morning. Any clue how to set this thing?'

Scrooge McCow

'With a herd of three cows it doesn't take long for inventory, does it, Dad?'

Doctor to pig: 'You've been pigging out on pan pizzas, eh? I'm taking you off square meals.'

'Last night, I snuck into the barn with a latex medical glove tied to the end of a hose...haha!'

"Dayum. She bootylicious."

"I didn't mean to trample him. How do you say 'my bad' in human?"

'What's that smell?'

'I've been experiencing a lot of deja moo.'

'You don't want to show favouritism Bruce-it upsets the others.'

"Dad...how do you know when to stop?"

'Orchestra Pit Bull.'

"We need less cowbell!"