Barnyard Buffoon Pillows

"Now that part of them is known as the gluteus maximus, or as we call it, the 'sweet spot'."

'Ok, here comes farmer Brown, put these on and remember.......act natural!'

"It turns out crows find a bunch of dead crows more frightening than a man made out of hay."

'Oh, it's a long, long time...From here to November...'

"Next time you score show a little respect and don't spike uncle Frank so hard."

Cock A Doodle

"Stick with me baby, and you'll eat slop every day."

'This model is hard to get parts for.'

"I always knew you'd come back."

Sick Rancher Humor

Police Cow!

Moo! OOM!

'This is what Jack and me have managed to create so far...all you have to do is add your poop to the top and we have a field record!'

'Remember, chew every bite 32 times.'

'Take a picture...it'll last longer.'

"Okay, now we're too domesticated."

You can always tell animals trained by 4H kids.

Wife to husband dressed as pantomime cow: 'I know you're exhausted, love, but at least the panto season is now ... BEHIND YOU!!'

"Gesundtheit, Dear."

"Come off it, you're not working from dawn till dusk: You're working at dawn and at dusk..."

'Your barn door's open.'

'I've got to wake up extra early tomorrow morning. Any clue how to set this thing?'

"Dayum. She bootylicious."

Scrooge McCow

Doctor to pig: 'You've been pigging out on pan pizzas, eh? I'm taking you off square meals.'

'With a herd of three cows it doesn't take long for inventory, does it, Dad?'

"I didn't mean to trample him. How do you say 'my bad' in human?"

'You don't want to show favouritism Bruce-it upsets the others.'

'Take it easy, you're a cow. They love cow humor.'

"We need less cowbell!"

"Dad...how do you know when to stop?"

A cow's bedside table.