Barnyard Jokester Pillows

'Hey - I was in line first! There you go again...messing up the pecking order!'

Police Cow!

"Next time you score show a little respect and don't spike uncle Frank so hard."

"Stick with me baby, and you'll eat slop every day."

Sick Rancher Humor

Moo! OOM!

'Remember, chew every bite 32 times.'

"Come off it, you're not working from dawn till dusk: You're working at dawn and at dusk..."

Wife to husband dressed as pantomime cow: 'I know you're exhausted, love, but at least the panto season is now ... BEHIND YOU!!'

'Your barn door's open.'

'Oi! We're your nipples you idiot!'

'With a herd of three cows it doesn't take long for inventory, does it, Dad?'

"I didn't mean to trample him. How do you say 'my bad' in human?"

"I'm tired of having to apologize for the condition of the house."

'I forgot to tell you Neddy's not 'broken-in' yet...!'

"Dad...how do you know when to stop?"

'No. I insist. You first.'

A cow's bedside table.

'First of all, I want you to know that my door is always open...'

"We need less cowbell!"

'Is it slop yet?'

'Abandon Sheep.'

Sheep Ballast

'Come on girls, can you at least pretend I rule the roost when the farmer is around...'

"Just our luck...everything but us tastes just like chicken."

"Here's a funny joke for you. A bartender walks into a barn..."

Daisy was adamant she was not going to give any of her milk away today!

Throw another hedgehog on the fire, would you pet?

"You're free to range. Just stay away from that Tiffany—she's trouble."

'The holes in this hay net are getting smaller! What are you trying to say buddy?!'

"I don't want to worry you, but this years prize winning pig, usually ends up as next years prize winning sausages."

"So how do we know if they've got this helium virus?"

'The kids in the barnyard called me a 'turkey'!'