Barnyard Jokester Gifts

'Hey - I was in line first! There you go again...messing up the pecking order!'

Police Cow!

"Stick with me baby, and you'll eat slop every day."

"Next time you score show a little respect and don't spike uncle Frank so hard."

Moo! OOM!

Sick Rancher Humor

'Remember, chew every bite 32 times.'

"Come off it, you're not working from dawn till dusk: You're working at dawn and at dusk..."

Wife to husband dressed as pantomime cow: 'I know you're exhausted, love, but at least the panto season is now ... BEHIND YOU!!'

'Your barn door's open.'

'Oi! We're your nipples you idiot!'

'With a herd of three cows it doesn't take long for inventory, does it, Dad?'

'Last night, I snuck into the barn with a latex medical glove tied to the end of a hose...haha!'

"I didn't mean to trample him. How do you say 'my bad' in human?"

'What's that smell?'

"I'm tired of having to apologize for the condition of the house."

'I've been experiencing a lot of deja moo.'

'Is it slop yet?'

"Dad...how do you know when to stop?"

A cow's bedside table.

'No. I insist. You first.'

'I forgot to tell you Neddy's not 'broken-in' yet...!'

"We need less cowbell!"

'First of all, I want you to know that my door is always open...'

'Abandon Sheep.'

Sheep Ballast

"Here's a funny joke for you. A bartender walks into a barn..."

'The holes in this hay net are getting smaller! What are you trying to say buddy?!'

Daisy was adamant she was not going to give any of her milk away today!

'Come on girls, can you at least pretend I rule the roost when the farmer is around...'

"You're free to range. Just stay away from that Tiffany—she's trouble."

Throw another hedgehog on the fire, would you pet?

"Just our luck...everything but us tastes just like chicken."

Funny Farm.

"I don't want to worry you, but this years prize winning pig, usually ends up as next years prize winning sausages."