Barnyard Shenanigans Gifts

'Ok, here comes farmer Brown, put these on and remember.......act natural!'

Cow talking to dog: 'What...You eat your own...?!'

"Stick with me baby, and you'll eat slop every day."

Dedication to excellence....

"You're living in a fantasy world, Nelly. Farmer Dave doesn't know you're alive. Plus, he's a human being, he's married, he's the church pastor and he's secretly gay."

"Next time, dear, ask me first before you invite a friend over for dinner."

A Cow Striptease

Sick Rancher Humor

'First give me the food - then you get the egg.'

'This is what Jack and me have managed to create so far...all you have to do is add your poop to the top and we have a field record!'

'That hussy. She's always first in line for insemination.'

Cow Christmas anxiety dreams!

'Oh quit griping and be thankful we even got a bonus this year!'

"Wait … where’s Chicken Little? And who is ‘Kim Jong Un’?"

'Well, Dad, it's 2:00 AM and we've been messing with her all night...'

"The summer people are coming! The summer people are coming!"

'He's been like this ever since he found out that he's a Rare Breed ...'

'Jenkins, when was the last time you cleaned out the barn?'

'How the heck is anyone supposed to lay with all this chitchat going on?'

Cow being clamped for milk.

We only follow one star round here, buddy!

Rooster writes out 'Things to cock-a-doodle-do.'

Oh you baad bad girl!

'Mirror, mirror, on the silo, who's the studliest bull in Shiloh?'

'I'd like to speak to the slop steward.'

...and this is you bedroom come dining room come kitchen come toilet!

'The main difference between small animal surgery and large animal surgery...'

'Cold hands, warm heart,' my ass, thought Bessie.

'To be perfectly honest, I hate my job: I'm not really a morning person...'

'The kids in the barnyard called me a 'turkey'!'