Barnyard Boardroom Buff Gifts

'The cow mooed, the pig oinked, the chicken clucked, I baaed and then we adjourned.'

'Ok, here comes farmer Brown, put these on and remember.......act natural!'

'You need an education or you will wind up in some fast food place.'

Farm Humor.

'Great news this quarter! Losses are up in smoke, profits are high, and we're seeing lots of green!'

'The good news is, we did as well as expected last quarter. The bad news is, we didn't expect to do too well.'

'Congratulations Smith, you got that promotion. Commiserations Reid, you got that demotion.'

The Importance of Planning Thoroughly in Advance

"They’re real."

"Next time you score show a little respect and don't spike uncle Frank so hard."

"Stick with me baby, and you'll eat slop every day."

'Well, I'm not very satisfied with our customers, either.'

'This model is hard to get parts for.'

Alas poor Daisy, I knew her well!

'Take my advice kid. Enjoy yourself now, because once you get married, your free ranging days are over.'

'To be honest I'm sick of truffles.'

A Cow Striptease

"You're living in a fantasy world, Nelly. Farmer Dave doesn't know you're alive. Plus, he's a human being, he's married, he's the church pastor and he's secretly gay."

"Next time, dear, ask me first before you invite a friend over for dinner."

Moo! OOM!

'At that point the meeting became chaotic, as everyone's medication seemed to wear off at the same time.'

'This is what Jack and me have managed to create so far...all you have to do is add your poop to the top and we have a field record!'

'I'm sorry young lady, but you're not old enough to be free range!'

Our parent company is not pleased with our work. They want all of us to register for a few remedial MBA courses.

'Whose idea was it to use enron as a benchmark?'

'Drop dead. Well that's good start to our negotiations.'

'I'm sure you all agree that this has been a very constructive meeting.'

'Remember, chew every bite 32 times.'

'That hussy. She's always first in line for insemination.'

"Come off it, you're not working from dawn till dusk: You're working at dawn and at dusk..."

Bad news I'm afraid. Our universe is shrinking!

Paul exhibits a classic symptom of Attention-Surplus Disorder.

"Okay, now we're too domesticated."