Barnyard Strategist Gifts

Farmer tacking up signs in Dairy barn.

'Ok, here comes farmer Brown, put these on and remember.......act natural!'

'You need an education or you will wind up in some fast food place.'

Farm Humor.

"Stick with me baby, and you'll eat slop every day."

Cock A Doodle

"They’re real."

"Next time you score show a little respect and don't spike uncle Frank so hard."

Alas poor Daisy, I knew her well!

"I always knew you'd come back."

'Take my advice kid. Enjoy yourself now, because once you get married, your free ranging days are over.'

'To be honest I'm sick of truffles.'

A Cow Striptease

Moo! OOM!

Drawing on the left side of the barn.

"Next time, dear, ask me first before you invite a friend over for dinner."

'I'm sorry young lady, but you're not old enough to be free range!'

Ham-Dram

Bad news I'm afraid. Our universe is shrinking!

Cow Christmas anxiety dreams!

"....one minute I'm there - chewing the cud - the next, I get this urge to lead!"

'Oh quit griping and be thankful we even got a bonus this year!'

'The cow mooed, the pig oinked, the chicken clucked, I baaed and then we adjourned.'

It was an impulse buy.

'With a herd of three cows it doesn't take long for inventory, does it, Dad?'

When Cows Discovered Mowers

Who are you?

"Wait … where’s Chicken Little? And who is ‘Kim Jong Un’?"

'Well, Dad, it's 2:00 AM and we've been messing with her all night...'

'What's that smell?'

"The summer people are coming! The summer people are coming!"

'These lousy free-range chickens think that they just own the whole world!'

'How the heck is anyone supposed to lay with all this chitchat going on?'

'Don't worry, the first 30 years of working with goats are the hardest.'

"And that, son, is where chickens come from."