Barnyard Storyteller Gifts

Pull up Daisy! You're going too deep!

Bubble Gum Farms.

Cock A Doodle

"Next time you score show a little respect and don't spike uncle Frank so hard."

"Stick with me baby, and you'll eat slop every day."

"You're living in a fantasy world, Nelly. Farmer Dave doesn't know you're alive. Plus, he's a human being, he's married, he's the church pastor and he's secretly gay."

Drawing on the left side of the barn.

Moo! OOM!

"Kind words help the dairy cow produce good milk. They go in one ear and out the udder."

'This is what Jack and me have managed to create so far...all you have to do is add your poop to the top and we have a field record!'

'Remember, chew every bite 32 times.'

'That hussy. She's always first in line for insemination.'

Ham-Dram

"Come off it, you're not working from dawn till dusk: You're working at dawn and at dusk..."

You can always tell animals trained by 4H kids.

Wife to husband dressed as pantomime cow: 'I know you're exhausted, love, but at least the panto season is now ... BEHIND YOU!!'

'Your barn door's open.'

Christmas Cow.

'Oi! We're your nipples you idiot!'

'With a herd of three cows it doesn't take long for inventory, does it, Dad?'

"I didn't mean to trample him. How do you say 'my bad' in human?"

'What's that smell?'

'I've been experiencing a lot of deja moo.'

'Is it slop yet?'

"Dad...how do you know when to stop?"

"We need less cowbell!"

'Orchestra Pit Bull.'

'First of all, I want you to know that my door is always open...'

'Abandon Sheep.'

A hen paninting her eggs with egg-shell paint

Sheep Ballast

"You're free to range. Just stay away from that Tiffany—she's trouble."

Throw another hedgehog on the fire, would you pet?

Cow being clamped for milk.

'Come on girls, can you at least pretend I rule the roost when the farmer is around...'