Barnyard Negotiator Gifts

Donkey Fights

'Here he comes with the milk check, let him do the talking.'

'Ok, they want a year's supply of meal, no more shearing, just trimming and our own barn. But until then, this camera and the pictures of your 'date with Daisy' stay with me.'

'You need an education or you will wind up in some fast food place.'

Farm Humor.

Cow Blue Arrows

"Stick with me baby, and you'll eat slop every day."

Cock A Doodle

"They’re real."

Alas poor Daisy, I knew her well!

'Take my advice kid. Enjoy yourself now, because once you get married, your free ranging days are over.'

'To be honest I'm sick of truffles.'

Drawing on the left side of the barn.

'For heaven's sake, Claudia. Give him the tuna fish sandwiches!'

'I'm sorry young lady, but you're not old enough to be free range!'

'This is what Jack and me have managed to create so far...all you have to do is add your poop to the top and we have a field record!'

'Remember, chew every bite 32 times.'

Wife to husband dressed as pantomime cow: 'I know you're exhausted, love, but at least the panto season is now ... BEHIND YOU!!'

Bad news I'm afraid. Our universe is shrinking!

You can always tell animals trained by 4H kids.

Ham-Dram

"Come off it, you're not working from dawn till dusk: You're working at dawn and at dusk..."

"....one minute I'm there - chewing the cud - the next, I get this urge to lead!"

'Your barn door's open.'

It was an impulse buy.

'The cow mooed, the pig oinked, the chicken clucked, I baaed and then we adjourned.'

'I wonder if I can declare you as dependents on my income taxes?'

Christmas Cow.

"I didn't mean to trample him. How do you say 'my bad' in human?"

'Is it slop yet?'

'These lousy free-range chickens think that they just own the whole world!'

'Orchestra Pit Bull.'

'Don't worry, the first 30 years of working with goats are the hardest.'

"Dad...how do you know when to stop?"

"And that, son, is where chickens come from."