Barnyard Artist Gifts

A hen paninting her eggs with egg-shell paint

Cock A Doodle

"The good old days of eating the washing off the line are all gone methinks: The farmer has bought an electric dryer..."

'Ok, here comes farmer Brown, put these on and remember.......act natural!'

"It turns out crows find a bunch of dead crows more frightening than a man made out of hay."

'Oh, it's a long, long time...From here to November...'

"Next time you score show a little respect and don't spike uncle Frank so hard."

'This model is hard to get parts for.'

"I always knew you'd come back."

Moo! OOM!

"Next time, dear, ask me first before you invite a friend over for dinner."

A Cow Striptease

'Remember, chew every bite 32 times.'

Cow Christmas anxiety dreams!

Ham-Dram

"Gesundtheit, Dear."

"Come off it, you're not working from dawn till dusk: You're working at dawn and at dusk..."

'Take a picture...it'll last longer.'

"Okay, now we're too domesticated."

Wife to husband dressed as pantomime cow: 'I know you're exhausted, love, but at least the panto season is now ... BEHIND YOU!!'

You can always tell animals trained by 4H kids.

'Your barn door's open.'

'Oh quit griping and be thankful we even got a bonus this year!'

'I've got to wake up extra early tomorrow morning. Any clue how to set this thing?'

Doctor to pig: 'You've been pigging out on pan pizzas, eh? I'm taking you off square meals.'

'With a herd of three cows it doesn't take long for inventory, does it, Dad?'

Scrooge McCow

"Dayum. She bootylicious."

"Wait … where’s Chicken Little? And who is ‘Kim Jong Un’?"

'Oi! We're your nipples you idiot!'

'Well, Dad, it's 2:00 AM and we've been messing with her all night...'

"I didn't mean to trample him. How do you say 'my bad' in human?"

"The summer people are coming! The summer people are coming!"

"I'm tired of having to apologize for the condition of the house."