Barnyard Comic Gifts

Farm Humor.

'Boy, watch out for that pursestring suture!'

"Next time you score show a little respect and don't spike uncle Frank so hard."

Cock A Doodle

Miniature Cattle Fanciers

"Stick with me baby, and you'll eat slop every day."

Moo! OOM!

Despite Having Given Up His Veterinary Practice George liked To Keep His Hand In...

'Remember, chew every bite 32 times.'

"Come off it, you're not working from dawn till dusk: You're working at dawn and at dusk..."

Ham-Dram

Wife to husband dressed as pantomime cow: 'I know you're exhausted, love, but at least the panto season is now ... BEHIND YOU!!'

You can always tell animals trained by 4H kids.

Timmy Works with His Pet Cow

"Haay, Tia Carmen, these eggs sure are fresh! What's your secret?"

'Your barn door's open.'

'This is my mom and dad.'

"I not only have to wake up the cows, I have to wake up the rooster."

'With a herd of three cows it doesn't take long for inventory, does it, Dad?'

'Oi! We're your nipples you idiot!'

"I didn't mean to trample him. How do you say 'my bad' in human?"

'What's that smell?'

"I'm tired of having to apologize for the condition of the house."

'I've been experiencing a lot of deja moo.'

Sheep

'No. I insist. You first.'

'Is it slop yet?'

'Tender and Juicy.'

"We need less cowbell!"

"Don't leave me dangling!"

'Orchestra Pit Bull.'

"Dad...how do you know when to stop?"

'I forgot to tell you Neddy's not 'broken-in' yet...!'

'First of all, I want you to know that my door is always open...'

'I have to face it Irma, I haven't laid an egg in a week now: I'm menopausal...'