Barn Chuckler Gifts

Someone should tell that big, ugly baby he's not drinking it right.

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

"G.P.S. FOR GUYS"

Where 'Pastor'-ized Milk Comes From...

'Haven't seen you in church lately John?'

World of Cow.

'Perhaps he's heard we're losing our churchwarden.'

'Next time the pastor asks if you know what his sermon was about, the answer is not about three hours.'

Sermon - why our religion is really better than yours.

'Golly, is it that time already?'

An Early Ventriloquist Meets His Future Dummy

"I hear he has a reputation as a loose Canon."

'If the Lord had wanted us to use the metric system, there would have been ten apostles!'

"Year after year we sit here quietly raising eyebrows, son."

'Look, Brother Timothy - a sign from God!'

'For him, all food is fast food.'

"We learned in Sunday School about how Cain whacked Abel."

"...lettuce pray."

Philosophy of Forestry: 'How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Walt? Roger? Steve? Anyone?'

Sunday School. Strange --- Apples were forbidden, but apparently fried foods were okay.

"But if you teach him to fish, you have fed him for a lifetime."

"Turn to page 12 for our non-binary singalong."

'He's been like this ever since he found out that he's a Rare Breed ...'

'Today's sermon is on the Gospel according to old Saint Matt....'

Rudolph unblocking a chimney

Jesus Seals the Hick...

"That was a good sermon...but I'd have settled for a soundbite."

A cow's bedside table.

The sermon was so boring the Preacher put himself to sleep.

"Sounds like a lot of 'EIEIO' to me!"

"Isn't this just a repeat of his 1332 Christmas special."

Missing Parsons.

Error 404: the saviour you're looking for has been removed.

"Say Jeeeeeez!"

Church: Built by Guilt.