Barnyard Chuckler Gifts

'He's been like this ever since he found out that he's a Rare Breed ...'

'Cold hands, warm heart,' my ass, thought Bessie.

We only follow one star round here, buddy!

'Boy, watch out for that pursestring suture!'

Miniature Cattle Fanciers

"Stick with me baby, and you'll eat slop every day."

"Next time you score show a little respect and don't spike uncle Frank so hard."

Police Cow!

Moo! OOM!

Despite Having Given Up His Veterinary Practice George liked To Keep His Hand In...

'This is what Jack and me have managed to create so far...all you have to do is add your poop to the top and we have a field record!'

"Haay, Tia Carmen, these eggs sure are fresh! What's your secret?"

Timmy Works with His Pet Cow

You can always tell animals trained by 4H kids.

"I not only have to wake up the cows, I have to wake up the rooster."

'With a herd of three cows it doesn't take long for inventory, does it, Dad?'

"I'm tired of having to apologize for the condition of the house."

"Don't leave me dangling!"

'No. I insist. You first.'

'Orchestra Pit Bull.'

"Sounds like a lot of 'EIEIO' to me!"

A cow's bedside table.

Sheep

'Tender and Juicy.'

'I have to face it Irma, I haven't laid an egg in a week now: I'm menopausal...'

Sheep Ballast

"I bet you couldn't eat three."

Cow being clamped for milk.

Daisy was adamant she was not going to give any of her milk away today!

"Just our luck...everything but us tastes just like chicken."

"On this diet, you can eat all you want of anything you can grow."

"You're free to range. Just stay away from that Tiffany—she's trouble."

"Here's a funny joke for you. A bartender walks into a barn..."

"So how do we know if they've got this helium virus?"

"I don't want to worry you, but this years prize winning pig, usually ends up as next years prize winning sausages."