Barbershop Banter Fan Gifts

'We've got a special this week on nose hairs!'

"Absolutely not!"

'Of course I want a short back and sides. I've only got a back and sides.'

Drunk Barber

"I'm thinkin' blond."

"...and yes, you did take too much off the top!"

Barber shop quartet

Barber of Seville

"Not too much off my back."

"What I drink and what I tell the pollsters I drink are two different things."

"Yeah, I'm selling my bowling balls. Free delivery to anyone who lives downhill."

The crew of the pirate ship 'The Bearded Lady' celebrate their greatest booty haul ever.

Down at the Local Baa-Baa Shop

'I don't think much of your work experience scheme Eric!'

Propriety

Can you feel the electricity in the air?...

'I love this place! There are four guys singing a cappella all day long...'

'So...your Bowel or mine?' / A male tapeworm using a pick-up line on a female tapeworm

The Forgotten Men's Club

Have a drink with me tonight. I can't I'm married. Tell your husband you're working. Tell him yourself, he's shaving you.

'You wouldn't be so quiet either if you had to sit on this board!'

Boris Johnson.

Man looking in mirror at the barber's.

"Could you trim the sides but leave it feathered on top?"

"Mine's a metaphor. I don't know what's going on withyou."

You throw poop like a girl.

'Quit the act? That's not you, boss--that's the drink talking.'

Jack-o-lantern in a Barbershop

'I won't be howling at the moon tonight. I've joined a barbershop quartet.'

Chemistry Trash Talk: 'I heard your mama thinks Pasteurized milk was named for Louis Pasteurize.'

'No, we haven't converted to Islam. Henry has just lost his razor.'

'Hey - you groomin' my kid?'

"Is that enough off the top?"

'I didn't invent fire, but I like to think I've perfected playing with it.'

"Not to brag, but I once blew a vaping cloud so big the Met Office gave it a name."