Barber Shop Banter Gifts

Have a drink with me tonight. I can't I'm married. Tell your husband you're working. Tell him yourself, he's shaving you.

'We've got a special this week on nose hairs!'

Drunk Barber

'Of course I want a short back and sides. I've only got a back and sides.'

"I'm thinkin' blond."

"...and yes, you did take too much off the top!"

"Not too much off my back."

'Sorry ... I'm having a 'bad hair' day.'

'There...now you'll fit in with the other plucked turkeys, er, footballers.'

'I don't think much of your work experience scheme Eric!'

'Read about Samson & Delilah. . . Better yet - see a live demonstration.'

A Feud between Al and Tony leaves Mr. Coyle with a prosthetic ear.

"I'll be glad when I get rid of this handover!"

'You wouldn't be so quiet either if you had to sit on this board!'

"Could you trim the sides but leave it feathered on top?"

Boris Johnson.

"Not too much off the top, Floyd!"

Man looking in mirror at the barber's.

'No, we haven't converted to Islam. Henry has just lost his razor.'

Man Falls Asleep At The Hairdressers.

'Hey - you groomin' my kid?'

Deer having his antlers removed at the barbers

Man with stubble that reads: 'Shave me.'

"Is that enough off the top?"

The modern barbershop quartet.

"Can I help you?"

Sid's Barbers: Possible venue for 'The Donald' and Korea Kim's meeting.

"Does sir wear his hair cut just off the ear?"

"The ear? I married a rancher's daughter."

"I'd like a haircut - the one on the right!"

Very Critical.

Vlad the Barber.

"Never discuss politics with your barber."

"Fred, I never discuss politics with a man who has a weapon in his hands."

If elected, I promise my beard will not remain in the awkward stage