Barber Banter Gifts

'No, we haven't converted to Islam. Henry has just lost his razor.'

"My barber sneezed."

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

"Renk just discovered beard oil."

A man sprays his bald head with "Spray Hair" to make it seem as thought he has hair.

Express Barber Chair for Chemo Patients

Hair Crop Circle

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

Beauty is in the eye of the manipulator.

"If you could just get rid of the split ends, that will be fine."

"Absolutely not!"

A daily rubdown with a beard brush will wrangle awkward bristles and train them downwards...

"Be creative...!"

Lego Haircut

'I'm not in shock, my eyebrows are just receding with my hairline.'

'We've got a special this week on nose hairs!'

General Meade's Army, Near Culpepper - Shaving in Camp

"I just edited your Wikipedia entry." "Big whoop." "What a coincidence, that's what scientists have classified you as: Bigwhoop." "...The much grumpier, much louder, and much, much older second cousin of Bigfoot." "You lousy son of a..." "Wait... thank you. That's very flattering."

'That'll be four thousand and eighty pounds please'

"I'm cleaning a little already, because the cleaning lady will be here soon!"

'...so I simply combined my love of beards with my love of tattoos and this was the result!'

Sheep In Curlers

"Same goash-darn thing every full moon, eh, Mr. Harper?"

I cut my own hair — using a drone.

"I got tired of wearing a hat."

"Do you have any of that after shave that makes me look like Brad Pitt?"

'Why do they call him Neckline Ned.' - 'He's always plunging down the middle but never showing anything.'

Military style hedgehog

Movember

Drunk Barber

'There! Now you won't get tangles!'

'Of course I want a short back and sides. I've only got a back and sides.'

Cleaner dusting under man's toupee.