Chatty Barber Gifts

The modern barbershop quartet.

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

"Renk just discovered beard oil."

A man sprays his bald head with "Spray Hair" to make it seem as thought he has hair.

Beauty is in the eye of the manipulator.

Hair Crop Circle

Express Barber Chair for Chemo Patients

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

"If you could just get rid of the split ends, that will be fine."

A daily rubdown with a beard brush will wrangle awkward bristles and train them downwards...

"Death Star? Is that in the Valley?"

"Be creative...!"

"Absolutely not!"

Lego Haircut

Not you. Your hair.

'I'm not in shock, my eyebrows are just receding with my hairline.'

'We've got a special this week on nose hairs!'

"Can you give me a haircut that says, 'If you mess with my budget I'll rip out your soul, wring it like a dish towel, and drink it from a teacup'?"

"Let's try for dignified yet playful, while maintaining the spirit of preservation."

General Meade's Army, Near Culpepper - Shaving in Camp

"Honestly, Paula, I don't know what I'd do without our daily keggers."

'That'll be four thousand and eighty pounds please'

"I got tired of wearing a hat."

'...so I simply combined my love of beards with my love of tattoos and this was the result!'

"I always get the 'Good Boy.' How about the 'Bad Dog' for a change?"

Sheep In Curlers

Military style hedgehog

My diagnosis? Restless tongue syndrome.

I cut my own hair — using a drone.

"Do you have any of that after shave that makes me look like Brad Pitt?"

"I'm cleaning a little already, because the cleaning lady will be here soon!"

Normal Beard vs. Hipster Beard

Movember

"Same goash-darn thing every full moon, eh, Mr. Harper?"

Drunk Barber