Barber Banter Pillows

'No, we haven't converted to Islam. Henry has just lost his razor.'

"My barber sneezed."

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

"Renk just discovered beard oil."

A man sprays his bald head with "Spray Hair" to make it seem as thought he has hair.

Express Barber Chair for Chemo Patients

Hair Crop Circle

Beauty is in the eye of the manipulator.

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

"If you could just get rid of the split ends, that will be fine."

"Absolutely not!"

"Be creative...!"

A daily rubdown with a beard brush will wrangle awkward bristles and train them downwards...

Lego Haircut

"Let's try for dignified yet playful, while maintaining the spirit of preservation."

"Can you give me a haircut that says, 'If you mess with my budget I'll rip out your soul, wring it like a dish towel, and drink it from a teacup'?"

"I just edited your Wikipedia entry." "Big whoop." "What a coincidence, that's what scientists have classified you as: Bigwhoop." "...The much grumpier, much louder, and much, much older second cousin of Bigfoot." "You lousy son of a..." "Wait... thank you. That's very flattering."

'We've got a special this week on nose hairs!'

Not you. Your hair.

'I'm not in shock, my eyebrows are just receding with my hairline.'

General Meade's Army, Near Culpepper - Shaving in Camp

'That'll be four thousand and eighty pounds please'

Normal Beard vs. Hipster Beard

'...so I simply combined my love of beards with my love of tattoos and this was the result!'

Sheep In Curlers

Movember

Military style hedgehog

"I got tired of wearing a hat."

"I'm cleaning a little already, because the cleaning lady will be here soon!"

I cut my own hair — using a drone.

"Same goash-darn thing every full moon, eh, Mr. Harper?"

"Do you have any of that after shave that makes me look like Brad Pitt?"

'Why do they call him Neckline Ned.' - 'He's always plunging down the middle but never showing anything.'

Drunk Barber

'There! Now you won't get tangles!'