Barber Shop Banter Pillows

Have a drink with me tonight. I can't I'm married. Tell your husband you're working. Tell him yourself, he's shaving you.

'We've got a special this week on nose hairs!'

'Of course I want a short back and sides. I've only got a back and sides.'

Drunk Barber

"...and yes, you did take too much off the top!"

"I'm thinkin' blond."

"Not too much off my back."

'Sorry ... I'm having a 'bad hair' day.'

'There...now you'll fit in with the other plucked turkeys, er, footballers.'

'I don't think much of your work experience scheme Eric!'

A Feud between Al and Tony leaves Mr. Coyle with a prosthetic ear.

'Read about Samson & Delilah. . . Better yet - see a live demonstration.'

"I'll be glad when I get rid of this handover!"

'You wouldn't be so quiet either if you had to sit on this board!'

Man looking in mirror at the barber's.

"Not too much off the top, Floyd!"

"Could you trim the sides but leave it feathered on top?"

Boris Johnson.

Man Falls Asleep At The Hairdressers.

'No, we haven't converted to Islam. Henry has just lost his razor.'

'Hey - you groomin' my kid?'

Man with stubble that reads: 'Shave me.'

"Is that enough off the top?"

Deer having his antlers removed at the barbers

The modern barbershop quartet.

"The ear? I married a rancher's daughter."

"Fred, I never discuss politics with a man who has a weapon in his hands."

"Can I help you?"

"I'd like a haircut - the one on the right!"

"Does sir wear his hair cut just off the ear?"

Vlad the Barber.

"Never discuss politics with your barber."

Very Critical.

If elected, I promise my beard will not remain in the awkward stage

Sid's Barbers: Possible venue for 'The Donald' and Korea Kim's meeting.