Barber Shop Humorist Pillows

"Just take a bit off the sides and... WHAAAAAAA..."

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

'I met my wife in unfortunate circumstances. I was single.'

What price beauty?

"What other tricks does he need?"

Ed's receding hairline!

Lawyer to bad hair lady: 'It's difficult to establish pain and suffering based on a bad hair day.'

Drunk Barber

'Well, I think it's very creative of the dog to make a wig from his shed hair.'

"...and yes, you did take too much off the top!"

Bald Man Overcomb

"Drinking improves my vodkabulary."

"I'm thinkin' blond."

'He's wearing a toupee.'

"In your 40s, hair starts growing everywhere except where it should."

"We've been victorious in many battles, and yet helmet hair remains our fiercest foe."

'Of all the fern bars in Encino, she's gotta walk into mine.'

'I have way too much respect and dignity to dye the grey out of my hair... so instead could you all just put on these brown-tinted glasses.'

'Just a trim for me thanks.'

Mo's USA Bar: Tips/Tariffs

Toupee in a tin.

'How am I ever going to be able to practice my first aid if you insist on using an electric razor?'

If a motorist came bursting through the doors...would he be up for damages?

Bobo's Barber Shop

"Not too much off my back."

"Can you suggest something that will enhance my hairstyle?"

"Would you please sip your drink and not swill it!"

"His baldness was way out of control, so we had to put him into a medically induced comb-over."

''Just face it - you're going bald.'

"Huston, we have a bad hairday problem!"

Anyone seen my curling tongs?

"No thanks, just the peanuts."

"My father would never let me marry a boy with a combover."

'He was superhuman. Then he started to lose his hair.'