Bar Comic Gifts

'I'm going to try that 'vegan' thing, Joe -- give me some beer nuts.'

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

'I met my wife in unfortunate circumstances. I was single.'

"What other tricks does he need?"

Complementary Beverages

"Drinking improves my vodkabulary."

"Heelllllooooooo, Roswell!!"

Mo's USA Bar: Tips/Tariffs

"Come on guys, my jokes aren't that bad!"

Minutes Later The Course Of Comedy Would Be Changed Forever.

"She said don't forget the straw."

'Of all the fern bars in Encino, she's gotta walk into mine.'

'These drinks have been watered down.'

'I'd like to get in touch with my feminine side, Joe -- bring me a Bloody Mary.'

Virtual Lap Dancing

'What have I told you about laughing on purpose, Mother?'

If a motorist came bursting through the doors...would he be up for damages?

Comedy course highlights fake nose

"I feel like I've just been played my whole life."

"Would you please sip your drink and not swill it!"

"Obviously, if I have to explain the joke, it's not funny anymore..."

'That's right. Ploughman's lunch; Egg, beans and sausage. It's what he orders every time he comes in here.'

'I'd like a brandy please...'

"Let's have some fun, guys -- Let's walk into a bar."

"If that's the chief medical officer I'm not here."

"No thanks, just the peanuts."