Banking Joke Enthusiast Gifts

'I need my PPI money to pay for my PIP's.'

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

Boss to worker taking out wallet: 'It's only fair, Pete. Last year, we shared profits!'

"Sorry, but you're a loan risk."

I can't believe It!

Banker stepping into 'New image' in 'Savings and Loans' office

'Give Me All The Money In My Account'

'I need a loan or a bailout so I can evolve,'

Secret Identity Theft.

Screw up Assange's finances and I'm closing my accounts.

'I'd like to apply for a job as a predatory lender.'

'Contract? No contract. We do all our business with nothing more than a handshake.'

"There's a $2.00 service fee for that friendly greeting."

'There's a five dollar discrepancy in my bank balance. Would you mind if I counted the money?'

'If you're opening a joint account, Dr. Jekyll, the other account holder has to be here to sign.'

"Sorry, but we're only accepting deposits at this time."

'Sorry. We've had to close your 'chicken' account ma'am. Everything you write bounces.'

'You hold no authority that will allow you passage, and are ignorant of the magic password ... can you at LEAST tell me your mother's maiden name?'

Harvest Data Festival

'A rogue nation robbed the World Bank!'

Full Service ATM: "Do you want fries with that?"

"The Bank has returned the rent cheque marked 'Insufficient funds', but it doesn't say whether that's them or us!"

Cashier for Decoration Purposes Only

'Frankly, Charles, I'm having a hard time handling our investments'.

'I'm afraid you'll have to get this hold-up note initialled at our withdrawals counter.'

"The Good Lord is an excellent reference, but without a phone number..."

"And do you have any other form of security against a loan other than this 'Good times are coming' horoscope?"

'My latest invention...the credit rock!'

PANIC!

"Hands up!"

"If a higher interest rate is a sign of a stronger economy, you must think I'm golden."

'Sir, the drive-thru window is on the other side of the building.'

'Oh no! They've turned my internet bank into a bar...'

"Once upon a time there was a kind old bank that did not charge its customers a fee."

"Collateral? How about I teach you what ties to avoid?"