Banking Humor Lover Gifts

'Well, you're the psychic. Why don't you tell me if I'm going to give you any money?'

'If you're opening a joint account, Dr. Jekyll, the other account holder has to be here to sign.'

'I'm making a comeback!'

'Hi man, I'd like to open a joint account...'

"Not you, Charlie."

'Sorry. We've had to close your 'chicken' account ma'am. Everything you write bounces.'

'I've robbed so much money from this bank that I figured it's about time I opened up a savings account here.'

Cashpoint - 'Have another tenner.'

TELLER, 'How do I go about getting a credit card refilled?'

ATM.

The personal treatment

'Our problem is we have plenty of loans that are worth the paper they're printed on.'

"And do you have any other form of security against a loan other than this 'Good times are coming' horoscope?"

"Whoa! This is my stolen identity!"

"He wants to rent a safe deposit box for the winter."

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

'The check is in the email attachment.'

Our Motto: Buy Low Sell High is the Best Revenge.'

'A temporary solution would be to white out this part of the chart.'

'Eureka! I found the gene that causes people to sell low and buy high!'

In case of falling markets break glass.

"Cook the books al dente so the auditor will have a little something to crunch."

'Oh that's weird! i just had a shiver go down my wallet. My wife must have just bought something.'

"The interest rate can't go any lower, so if necessary, we'll have to go back to pounds of flesh."

Federal Guidelines

'I consider myself to be a sophisticated investor. I would never invest in penny stocks. I lost all of my money investing with a brokerage specializing in nickel stocks.'

"At least we no longer have the pressure of handling so much money."

Banker stepping into 'New image' in 'Savings and Loans' office

'Greece is up for auction on eBay - and there's no bidders.'

"It's part of a deal I worked out with the I.R.S."

'We don't care if it's a boy or a girl, as long as it's a tax deduction.'

"Before we discuss your loan, Mr Carlson, perhaps you'd like to spend a few moments with out bank chaplain."

"Let us pray for the possessed...and the re-possessed"

"Sorry, but you're a loan risk."

'Give Me All The Money In My Account'