Bank Humor Lover Gifts

'With all due respect for your horoscope, your loan payment is still due today.'

'But you're the 'Goose that Lays the Golden Egg...'

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

'The check is in the email attachment.'

Our Motto: Buy Low Sell High is the Best Revenge.'

'A temporary solution would be to white out this part of the chart.'

'Eureka! I found the gene that causes people to sell low and buy high!'

In case of falling markets break glass.

'Oh that's weird! i just had a shiver go down my wallet. My wife must have just bought something.'

Federal Guidelines

"Sorry, but you're a loan risk."

'We don't care if it's a boy or a girl, as long as it's a tax deduction.'

"At least we no longer have the pressure of handling so much money."

'Greece is up for auction on eBay - and there's no bidders.'

'Give Me All The Money In My Account'

'I'd like to apply for a job as a predatory lender.'

'I need a loan or a bailout so I can evolve,'

Home 'Submerged' Home! (Home value less than mortgage).

Caution: Falling Businessmen - A Sign of the Times

Secret Identity Theft.

Friendly banks and Cold and aloof banks.

'Hector owes us money ...'

Screw up Assange's finances and I'm closing my accounts.

'Contract? No contract. We do all our business with nothing more than a handshake.'

'The Bishop called - he'd like to see a copy of that sermon you gave last Sunday.'

Piggy Banks/Cash Cows/Free Chicken Account.

Bad end-of-year figures

Modern Art - 'Bull' graph going up / 'Bear' graph going down

"There's a $2.00 service fee for that friendly greeting."

US economy health.

'There's a five dollar discrepancy in my bank balance. Would you mind if I counted the money?'

'If you're opening a joint account, Dr. Jekyll, the other account holder has to be here to sign.'

Tales from the crypto: The returns are killer!

'My broker swears it's a great investment but I fear it's just another pyramid scheme.'

'You hold no authority that will allow you passage, and are ignorant of the magic password ... can you at LEAST tell me your mother's maiden name?'