Bank Joke Lover Gifts

"If our bank had a negative interest rate we would be rich."

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

Boss to worker taking out wallet: 'It's only fair, Pete. Last year, we shared profits!'

"Sorry, but you're a loan risk."

I can't believe It!

'Give Me All The Money In My Account'

'I need a loan or a bailout so I can evolve,'

Secret Identity Theft.

Ace Borrowing Company (formerly Ace Loan Company)

Screw up Assange's finances and I'm closing my accounts.

'I'd like to apply for a job as a predatory lender.'

'Contract? No contract. We do all our business with nothing more than a handshake.'

"There's a $2.00 service fee for that friendly greeting."

'There's a five dollar discrepancy in my bank balance. Would you mind if I counted the money?'

'If you're opening a joint account, Dr. Jekyll, the other account holder has to be here to sign.'

Harvest Data Festival

'Sorry. We've had to close your 'chicken' account ma'am. Everything you write bounces.'

'A rogue nation robbed the World Bank!'

'You hold no authority that will allow you passage, and are ignorant of the magic password ... can you at LEAST tell me your mother's maiden name?'

'With all due respect for your horoscope, your loan payment is still due today.'

Cashier for Decoration Purposes Only

'Frankly, Charles, I'm having a hard time handling our investments'.

'I'm afraid you'll have to get this hold-up note initialled at our withdrawals counter.'

"The Good Lord is an excellent reference, but without a phone number..."

"If a higher interest rate is a sign of a stronger economy, you must think I'm golden."

"Hands up!"

"And do you have any other form of security against a loan other than this 'Good times are coming' horoscope?"

PANIC!

'Sir, the drive-thru window is on the other side of the building.'

'Oh no! They've turned my internet bank into a bar...'

'Sorry, we don't make loans.'

"Collateral? How about I teach you what ties to avoid?"

"Once upon a time there was a kind old bank that did not charge its customers a fee."

'C'mon, gimme some extra bucks... I need a raise!'

'Well, you're the psychic. Why don't you tell me if I'm going to give you any money?'