Banking Humor Enthusiast Gifts

'There's a five dollar discrepancy in my bank balance. Would you mind if I counted the money?'

Cashier for Decoration Purposes Only

'You mean like a bailout?'

Charitable Donation.

"Do you know you can do this more easily on line, Mr. Pine?"

"Good heavens no, Mr. Jenners, whatever gave you that idea? We don't lend money, we make it."

British savings accounts

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

America's Funniest Interest Rate Hikes

'The bank says they're freezing my assets! I don't understand: They've always been frozen...'

"You have to declare what you rob from the rich, but you can deduct what you give to the poor."

'Now let's proceed downstairs and see where our stock shares presently sits,'

"At least we're consistent ... "

Out of control

'What do you mean, the chart resembles an iceberg?'

'Our fund lost millions, but the good news is our management fees are not based on performance.'

Bank notes coming out of a safe.

The Decline of the Euro.

'Due to current market conditions, I'm recommending that my clients invest heavily into pain medication companies.'

Ireland and its Celtic Tiger request some donations

'We stopped to smell the darn roses here!'

"How much do I need? How much you got?"

"Before we discuss your loan, Mr Carlson, perhaps you'd like to spend a few moments with out bank chaplain."

"Sorry, but you're a loan risk."

Inflation is a national headache. . . caused by asset indigestion!

Banker stepping into 'New image' in 'Savings and Loans' office

'The market dropped on the news some IRS refund checks said 'do not cash until next Friday'.'

"I see you have the latest in accounting software."

Budget Cuts

"I'm afraid with your income I couldn't possibly approve a loan of that size. Would you like a list of our approved loan sharks?"

'Give Me All The Money In My Account'

'You won't feel a thing. We make a small incision in your wallet and...'

A man notices the Chase logo has turned into snakes eating themselves."

'This rebate check isn't big enough for both of us.'

'I'm just finishing denying the rumors of our impending bankruptcy to the press. Got those bankruptcy papers ready?'