Satirical Banking Humor Enthusiast Gifts

"A loan? Let me see what the board says."

British savings accounts

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

America's Funniest Interest Rate Hikes

"You have to declare what you rob from the rich, but you can deduct what you give to the poor."

'Now let's proceed downstairs and see where our stock shares presently sits,'

Out of control

'Our fund lost millions, but the good news is our management fees are not based on performance.'

Bank notes coming out of a safe.

'We stopped to smell the darn roses here!'

"I see you have the latest in accounting software."

'To placate the public, we've done away with the cash bonuses and have found another way to compensate you.'

'I thought up the term 'too big to fail'. So where's my bonus?'

'The market dropped on the news some IRS refund checks said 'do not cash until next Friday'.'

"How much do I need? How much you got?"

"Before we discuss your loan, Mr Carlson, perhaps you'd like to spend a few moments with out bank chaplain."

Budget Cuts

"I'm afraid with your income I couldn't possibly approve a loan of that size. Would you like a list of our approved loan sharks?"

Banker stepping into 'New image' in 'Savings and Loans' office

"Sorry, but you're a loan risk."

'Give Me All The Money In My Account'

'You won't feel a thing. We make a small incision in your wallet and...'

A man notices the Chase logo has turned into snakes eating themselves."

"Your condition appears to have deteriorated considerably since your last cheque bounced."

'I'd like to apply for a job as a predatory lender.'

'Business is very good. We'll soon be moving to smaller premises.'

Secret Identity Theft.

'I'm just finishing denying the rumors of our impending bankruptcy to the press. Got those bankruptcy papers ready?'

Business men's lunches: Tycoons ?25, On the way downers ?2.50.

"I don't recall ever hearing the stockholders speak with such a unified voice as they did today!"

Screw up Assange's finances and I'm closing my accounts.

'Please remember that these figures could be off by as much as two dollars.'

'I need a loan or a bailout so I can evolve,'

'Contract? No contract. We do all our business with nothing more than a handshake.'

"Pour yourself a drink - the news isn't too good"