Banking Satire Enthusiast Gifts

'We do care. But not to the tune of forty thousand bucks.'

'I today's market news, Greed roared back.'

I think I can explain what happened to your investment, with the use of this simple chart.

Banker stepping into 'New image' in 'Savings and Loans' office

'To placate the public, we've done away with the cash bonuses and have found another way to compensate you.'

'I thought up the term 'too big to fail'. So where's my bonus?'

A man notices the Chase logo has turned into snakes eating themselves."

"Willis has kindly agreed to sum up our current financial position."

'I'd like to apply for a job as a predatory lender.'

Financial Bailout Required.

We've been pre-approved by the credit card company to give them a loan.

"There's a $2.00 service fee for that friendly greeting."

'There's a five dollar discrepancy in my bank balance. Would you mind if I counted the money?'

'If you're opening a joint account, Dr. Jekyll, the other account holder has to be here to sign.'

The Recession Hole.

Visit to the Bank Manager, "Marrying my daughter isn't the sort of security I had in mind, Harry!"

'Sorry. We've had to close your 'chicken' account ma'am. Everything you write bounces.'

Credit Crunch Man.

Harvest Data Festival

"I heard you are charging a monthly fee for using your debit card, and I'm here to complain!"

'Goldman Sachs defrauds the world!'

'Financial services at your service - I recommend transferring your money to me - no fee.'

Cashier for Decoration Purposes Only

"And do you have any other form of security against a loan other than this 'Good times are coming' horoscope?"

'About my accrued holdiay pay...can you mail it to my offshore account?'

'I want to open a joint account with the riches man in town. . .'

"The Good Lord is an excellent reference, but without a phone number..."

'Oog decided to become a predatory LENDER.'

'I'm afraid you'll have to get this hold-up note initialled at our withdrawals counter.'

'Your mom likes you ... well, heck, that's all we need.'

Foreclosure

"We won't be mailing out our quarterly report. Our profits were obscene and postal regulations prohibit mailing obscene material."

"The bank has completed the loan application review phase. We're now in the loan denial phase."

'You built this with our venture capital. Now we would like our 60%.'

RBS Cash Machine - Cash Available 24/7