Banking Humor Aficionado Gifts

Jesus really does save.

'Unfortunately Mr Jones, we're unable to approve your loan application... I'm afraid you're over-drawn!'

'I'd like to apply for a job as a predatory lender.'

"The Good Lord is an excellent reference, but without a phone number..."

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

"Sorry, but you're a loan risk."

Banker stepping into 'New image' in 'Savings and Loans' office

"Before we discuss your loan, Mr Carlson, perhaps you'd like to spend a few moments with out bank chaplain."

"We can't all work for Goldman Sachs."

'Give Me All The Money In My Account'

'I have an expense account, but it's a joke.'

Screw up Assange's finances and I'm closing my accounts.

"Gold ended the day on a new high, while frankincense and myrrh both opened well but faded as the markets closed."

'You're addicted to big bonuses. But the good news is there's a patch to treat that.'

'I need a loan or a bailout so I can evolve,'

"There's a $2.00 service fee for that friendly greeting."

'I suppose a loan to send them to summer camp could be called a home improvement loan.'

'Then the king rewrote the tax code so everyone could understand it, and all the CPAs went out of business.'

'There's a five dollar discrepancy in my bank balance. Would you mind if I counted the money?'

"You never express your emotions. You're very blank."

"Speculators found it was a bear market so they decided to hibernate."

'A rogue nation robbed the World Bank!'

Harvest Data Festival

'You hold no authority that will allow you passage, and are ignorant of the magic password ... can you at LEAST tell me your mother's maiden name?'

"Sorry, but we're only accepting deposits at this time."

'With all due respect for your horoscope, your loan payment is still due today.'

"The Bank has returned the rent cheque marked 'Insufficient funds', but it doesn't say whether that's them or us!"

Cashier for Decoration Purposes Only

Full Service ATM: "Do you want fries with that?"

'If money doesn't grown on trees why do banks have so many branches?'

"And do you have any other form of security against a loan other than this 'Good times are coming' horoscope?"

"We can mortgage your future for a very attractive low interest rate."

PANIC!

"I've hidden my nuts in an offshore forest."

''Tax Loopholes for the Rich and Famous' was filmed before a live audience of IRS auditors.'