Banking Humor Aficionado Gifts

Jesus really does save.

'Unfortunately Mr Jones, we're unable to approve your loan application... I'm afraid you're over-drawn!'

'I'd like to apply for a job as a predatory lender.'

"The Good Lord is an excellent reference, but without a phone number..."

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

"Sorry, but you're a loan risk."

"Before we discuss your loan, Mr Carlson, perhaps you'd like to spend a few moments with out bank chaplain."

Banker stepping into 'New image' in 'Savings and Loans' office

"We can't all work for Goldman Sachs."

'Give Me All The Money In My Account'

'I have an expense account, but it's a joke.'

Secret Identity Theft.

'I need a loan or a bailout so I can evolve,'

'You're addicted to big bonuses. But the good news is there's a patch to treat that.'

"Gold ended the day on a new high, while frankincense and myrrh both opened well but faded as the markets closed."

Screw up Assange's finances and I'm closing my accounts.

'Contract? No contract. We do all our business with nothing more than a handshake.'

"There's a $2.00 service fee for that friendly greeting."

'There's a five dollar discrepancy in my bank balance. Would you mind if I counted the money?'

'I suppose a loan to send them to summer camp could be called a home improvement loan.'

'Then the king rewrote the tax code so everyone could understand it, and all the CPAs went out of business.'

'If you're opening a joint account, Dr. Jekyll, the other account holder has to be here to sign.'

'Sorry. We've had to close your 'chicken' account ma'am. Everything you write bounces.'

'A rogue nation robbed the World Bank!'

'You hold no authority that will allow you passage, and are ignorant of the magic password ... can you at LEAST tell me your mother's maiden name?'

Harvest Data Festival

"You never express your emotions. You're very blank."

"Sorry, but we're only accepting deposits at this time."

"Speculators found it was a bear market so they decided to hibernate."

'With all due respect for your horoscope, your loan payment is still due today.'

Cashier for Decoration Purposes Only

"The Bank has returned the rent cheque marked 'Insufficient funds', but it doesn't say whether that's them or us!"

'If money doesn't grown on trees why do banks have so many branches?'

Full Service ATM: "Do you want fries with that?"

"We can mortgage your future for a very attractive low interest rate."