Bank Humor Enthusiast Gifts

Small Loan Dept.

'It's true their security is better here but they don't have overdraft fees.'

"We can't lend you the money, but we'd like to accept your monthly repayments."

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

'The bank says they're freezing my assets! I don't understand: They've always been frozen...'

"Sorry, but you're a loan risk."

"Before we discuss your loan, Mr Carlson, perhaps you'd like to spend a few moments with out bank chaplain."

Banker stepping into 'New image' in 'Savings and Loans' office

'Give Me All The Money In My Account'

Secret Identity Theft.

'I'd like to apply for a job as a predatory lender.'

'I need a loan or a bailout so I can evolve,'

Screw up Assange's finances and I'm closing my accounts.

'Contract? No contract. We do all our business with nothing more than a handshake.'

"There's a $2.00 service fee for that friendly greeting."

'I suppose a loan to send them to summer camp could be called a home improvement loan.'

'If you're opening a joint account, Dr. Jekyll, the other account holder has to be here to sign.'

'There's a five dollar discrepancy in my bank balance. Would you mind if I counted the money?'

'Sorry. We've had to close your 'chicken' account ma'am. Everything you write bounces.'

Harvest Data Festival

'You hold no authority that will allow you passage, and are ignorant of the magic password ... can you at LEAST tell me your mother's maiden name?'

"Sorry, but we're only accepting deposits at this time."

'A rogue nation robbed the World Bank!'

'With all due respect for your horoscope, your loan payment is still due today.'

'Since stocks are so wacko now,I'm advising clients to go with their lucky numbers on lotto tickets.'

Cashier for Decoration Purposes Only

"The Bank has returned the rent cheque marked 'Insufficient funds', but it doesn't say whether that's them or us!"

Full Service ATM: "Do you want fries with that?"

"Hands up!"

"And do you have any other form of security against a loan other than this 'Good times are coming' horoscope?"

'I'm afraid you'll have to get this hold-up note initialled at our withdrawals counter.'

PANIC!

"The Good Lord is an excellent reference, but without a phone number..."

Acme Firework Company

'Oh no! They've turned my internet bank into a bar...'