Banking Comedy Lover Gifts

A tiny man living inside an ATM gives away money.

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

Jumping Wall Street.

"Sorry, but you're a loan risk."

'Miss Roberts, turn off the video camera!'

'Give Me All The Money In My Account'

'Right you've got 30 minutes...start squeezing.'

"He was expecting a golden handshake."

'I need a loan or a bailout so I can evolve,'

Secret Identity Theft.

Screw up Assange's finances and I'm closing my accounts.

'I'd like to apply for a job as a predatory lender.'

'Contract? No contract. We do all our business with nothing more than a handshake.'

"There's a $2.00 service fee for that friendly greeting."

'There's a five dollar discrepancy in my bank balance. Would you mind if I counted the money?'

'If you're opening a joint account, Dr. Jekyll, the other account holder has to be here to sign.'

'You hold no authority that will allow you passage, and are ignorant of the magic password ... can you at LEAST tell me your mother's maiden name?'

'Sorry. We've had to close your 'chicken' account ma'am. Everything you write bounces.'

White Collar Imposter

'A rogue nation robbed the World Bank!'

Harvest Data Festival

"Sorry, but we're only accepting deposits at this time."

"I have complete confidence that the company will overcome its debt load."

'With all due respect for your horoscope, your loan payment is still due today.'

Cashier for Decoration Purposes Only

Full Service ATM: "Do you want fries with that?"

'I had to co-pay for the bagel.'

"And do you have any other form of security against a loan other than this 'Good times are coming' horoscope?"

"The Good Lord is an excellent reference, but without a phone number..."

"Hands up!"

'I'm afraid you'll have to get this hold-up note initialled at our withdrawals counter.'

'Ask your doctor if investing in the market is right for you.'

PANIC!

'Sir, the drive-thru window is on the other side of the building.'

'Oh no! They've turned my internet bank into a bar...'