Banking Joke Enthusiast Pillows

'I need my PPI money to pay for my PIP's.'

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

Boss to worker taking out wallet: 'It's only fair, Pete. Last year, we shared profits!'

"Sorry, but you're a loan risk."

I can't believe It!

Banker stepping into 'New image' in 'Savings and Loans' office

'Give Me All The Money In My Account'

'I'd like to apply for a job as a predatory lender.'

Screw up Assange's finances and I'm closing my accounts.

'I need a loan or a bailout so I can evolve,'

"There's a $2.00 service fee for that friendly greeting."

'There's a five dollar discrepancy in my bank balance. Would you mind if I counted the money?'

"Sorry, but we're only accepting deposits at this time."

'A rogue nation robbed the World Bank!'

Harvest Data Festival

'You hold no authority that will allow you passage, and are ignorant of the magic password ... can you at LEAST tell me your mother's maiden name?'

Cashier for Decoration Purposes Only

"The Bank has returned the rent cheque marked 'Insufficient funds', but it doesn't say whether that's them or us!"

Full Service ATM: "Do you want fries with that?"

'Frankly, Charles, I'm having a hard time handling our investments'.

"If a higher interest rate is a sign of a stronger economy, you must think I'm golden."

"Hands up!"

"And do you have any other form of security against a loan other than this 'Good times are coming' horoscope?"

'My latest invention...the credit rock!'

'I'm afraid you'll have to get this hold-up note initialled at our withdrawals counter.'

"The Good Lord is an excellent reference, but without a phone number..."

PANIC!

'Oh no! They've turned my internet bank into a bar...'

'Sir, the drive-thru window is on the other side of the building.'

'I need a loan for a bypass. To bypass my wife. She holds the purse strings.'

"Collateral? How about I teach you what ties to avoid?"

'Sorry, we don't make loans.'