Bank Joke Aficionado Pillows

"This charge is for your monthly service fee and this charge is because you didn't have it."

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

"Sorry, but you're a loan risk."

Banker stepping into 'New image' in 'Savings and Loans' office

'Give Me All The Money In My Account'

'I need a loan or a bailout so I can evolve,'

Screw up Assange's finances and I'm closing my accounts.

'I'd like to apply for a job as a predatory lender.'

"There's a $2.00 service fee for that friendly greeting."

'There's a five dollar discrepancy in my bank balance. Would you mind if I counted the money?'

Harvest Data Festival

"Sorry, but we're only accepting deposits at this time."

'A rogue nation robbed the World Bank!'

'You hold no authority that will allow you passage, and are ignorant of the magic password ... can you at LEAST tell me your mother's maiden name?'

'With all due respect for your horoscope, your loan payment is still due today.'

Full Service ATM: "Do you want fries with that?"

"The Bank has returned the rent cheque marked 'Insufficient funds', but it doesn't say whether that's them or us!"

Cashier for Decoration Purposes Only

PANIC!

"The Good Lord is an excellent reference, but without a phone number..."

"If a higher interest rate is a sign of a stronger economy, you must think I'm golden."

'I'm afraid you'll have to get this hold-up note initialled at our withdrawals counter.'

"And do you have any other form of security against a loan other than this 'Good times are coming' horoscope?"

"Hands up!"

'Sir, the drive-thru window is on the other side of the building.'

'Oh no! They've turned my internet bank into a bar...'

'Sorry, we don't make loans.'

"Once upon a time there was a kind old bank that did not charge its customers a fee."

I'm thinking of taking the next step and becoming a snail...what mortgages have you got to offer?

"Collateral? How about I teach you what ties to avoid?"

'Well £60 million is LESS than I'm used to...but now that we've agreed my bonus, what working capital will the Bank have?'

'Well, you're the psychic. Why don't you tell me if I'm going to give you any money?'