Banking Humor Fan Pillows

Pied Piper luring money from the bank.

"We'll need to have your husband co-sign the stick-up note."

"Yes, the award is shaped like a pyramid, but I prefer the term Ponzi."

Manager looking at himself in mirror: 'A loan, certainly.'

'I'm afraid you'll have to get this hold-up note initialled at our withdrawals counter.'

'What do you want the money for?'

Nekst Rokk Pleeze.

Harvest Data Festival

'Now that I have your attention...'

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

Loan Alley

'All we can do is hope for identity theft.'

Jumping Wall Street.

'Credit being what it is, I'm sure you won't mind if we see your 200,000 cattle first...'

"I'd like these invested in an aggressive mutual fund."

'Money, that's what seperates us from the apes.'

"Sorry, but you're a loan risk."

The classic 'large scale corporate raider' eventually, they end up catching themselves!!

News and Magazines. Record Debt. Dollar Down. How can the dollar be weak when we've been giving it such a good workout?

"We must do something about the bloated, fat cat image bankers have a acquired...I think I'll settle for a bigger chair!"

"Before we discuss your loan, Mr Carlson, perhaps you'd like to spend a few moments with out bank chaplain."

'Give Me All The Money In My Account'

Department of Unrealistic Dividend Earnings: 'We realize it is an unnecessary department but the acronym was just too cool to shut it down.'

'It's 10pm, does anyone know how much the U.S. dollar is worth?'

'The difference between Micro and Macro economics is this: Macro is what you owe, and Micro is what you're paid.'

Credit card campaign ad

'Can I help? You bet your bottom dollar I can.'

'Now that I think about it, you're right: Like bankers, we thrive on the misfortune of others...'

'I need a loan or a bailout so I can evolve,'

Screw up Assange's finances and I'm closing my accounts.

Secret Identity Theft.

'I'd like to apply for a job as a predatory lender.'

"We've made such good progress with your stress management levels, that I feel able to risk a small setback."

'Contract? No contract. We do all our business with nothing more than a handshake.'

'There's been a big bank merger, sir, so you now have a joint checking account with a Mr. Slavomir Bezparyadok of Zagreb.'