Banking Humor Fans Pillows

'This is a money order. '

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

Bingo! Credit card number!! The real reason raccoons like garbage.

"Sorry, but you're a loan risk."

"Before we discuss your loan, Mr Carlson, perhaps you'd like to spend a few moments with out bank chaplain."

'Well, son... I've made my first million by selling my unpaid bills to the paper-recycling guy!'

'Give Me All The Money In My Account'

'I need a loan or a bailout so I can evolve,'

Secret Identity Theft.

Screw up Assange's finances and I'm closing my accounts.

'I'd like to apply for a job as a predatory lender.'

"For someone your age, the yearly premium on a $5,000 policy is $8,000."

'Contract? No contract. We do all our business with nothing more than a handshake.'

"There's a $2.00 service fee for that friendly greeting."

'There's a five dollar discrepancy in my bank balance. Would you mind if I counted the money?'

'I suppose a loan to send them to summer camp could be called a home improvement loan.'

'If you're opening a joint account, Dr. Jekyll, the other account holder has to be here to sign.'

'Sorry. We've had to close your 'chicken' account ma'am. Everything you write bounces.'

"We're going to sacrifice you to the gods, son, because it's so much cheaper than college."

"Sorry, but we're only accepting deposits at this time."

'A rogue nation robbed the World Bank!'

Harvest Data Festival

'You hold no authority that will allow you passage, and are ignorant of the magic password ... can you at LEAST tell me your mother's maiden name?'

'With all due respect for your horoscope, your loan payment is still due today.'

In a Kitchen Cupboard, somewhere on Wall St...fortunes changed!!

Full Service ATM: "Do you want fries with that?"

Cashier for Decoration Purposes Only

"And do you have any other form of security against a loan other than this 'Good times are coming' horoscope?"

"The Good Lord is an excellent reference, but without a phone number..."

"It's our bank with some disturbing news. . . someone hacked into our account and paid all our bills."

"Hands up!"

'I'm afraid you'll have to get this hold-up note initialled at our withdrawals counter.'

PANIC!

"Someday, gentlemen, I promise you - the heady days of 'Come a ti yi yippie yippie yay' will be back."

'Oh no! They've turned my internet bank into a bar...'