Banking Humorist Pillows

'Give Me All The Money In My Account'

ATM. To verify you are who you say you are, stick head through hole.

'Contract? No contract. We do all our business with nothing more than a handshake.'

We're going to ask the bank to extend our overdraft - I don't think dressing like that will really help!

ATM - Now in high definition.

'Oh no! They've turned my internet bank into a bar...'

Donate your Loose Change - As a matter of fact it goes to the bank.

'Enter pin number pin head.'

'The bank would like to offer you this toaster for you not to open an account.'

'Forget the early withdrawal penalty. What I'm taking out, I didn't put in!'

"Those are fees incurred for requesting an explanation of your fees."

'Sir, the drive-thru window is on the other side of the building.'

"How come in your TV adverts you're giving out loans left, right and centre?!"

Loan Co. Oh, never mind the hat --- It's just a formality.

Screw up Assange's finances and I'm closing my accounts.

"Sorry, but you're a loan risk."

'Yes - make sure you're sitting down! I have a complaint about a standing order.'

"Hands up!"

PANIC!

Cashpoint - new girlfriend.

'You the one who called for a locksmith?'

'I need a loan or a bailout so I can evolve,'

Loan Dept - Loan Officer. 'Good Dog.'

"So, why do you want to work here?"

Forgot My Mother's Maiden Name

"Please hold while we check your balance."

Secret Identity Theft.

Check Book

Deutsche Bank

'I'd like to roll over my account.'

'A kitten is the surprise gift for new customers.'

ATM.

'Sorry, we don't make loans.'

Now put it all in my savings account.

TELLER, 'I want to transfer my account to this bank -- you wouldn't believe how uptight my LAST bank was!'